My Selfishness
by HybridKiller
Summary: If I can't have you, nobody can...' OneShot. Though the eyes of a poor boy after what he thought would be the greatest thing ever no Adults. Rated for character death.


A/N: Ok, I admit this story is pretty boring at the beginning and takes until the end to get good…in a one-shot that's not good. But I guarantee that if you read it, you will be in tears by the end. Basically, the whole story has a moral to it and that's the only reason why I wrote it, not really to be a story; but to prove a point. See if you can find it. :)

**-Note- Apparently (or so my friend says) this might be easiest to understand for 'older' kids. Read slowly, don't try and speed read though it… you'll miss the whole story, everything I've said and the whole point to why I was writing. (I write with symbolism, so when I say something, I might not mean exactly what I say… it's like a reference or another way at looking at a main picture.)**

Read if you'd like. If you read, please review. If you don't like it, review and say why. Thanks.

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Simple days had come before; but now, I remember them not. The seconds ticked by and looked like decades as death drew near. It wasn't long before time was lost and my soul was helpless. My world was ending. My time was drawing near and worst of all, I made no attempt to stop it; I only made it clear.

It was only a second in my long life when this feeling came. Ten years I had lived, but no time made a greater impact then that one moment; that one moment where it all ceased to be. It was the moment when I no longer cared. I didn't even care about my own pride. What befell me; was failure, my own failure. My life stopped that very second. My eyes had awoken. The truth had shown though; the impossible had come. I had lost everything I had ever known, everything I could have ever had and it all only accounted for one.

You never knew how much you cared until there was no more. My life meant everything as long as that one thing fell certain. I would have sacrificed my life for that one object of perfection. One chance and I would trade it all away for happiness. Chance I had not; I lost what meant most to me. I had lost it even before my own death. It was all in vain. My efforts were in vain. She was gone. But worst of all, I didn't even hurt myself; I hurt her.

---

Several days we had spent in luxury after the defeat of our greatest enemy; The Delightful Children From Down the Lane. I sat in a giant armchair relaxing, ignoring the pain that fell inside me. She was the only one I had in the world and she didn't even know I exist. Hours she spent, on her own or with her friends, but she wouldn't spend five minutes with me.

Days went by though our joy, no more enemies, no more destruction. We had won; the adults had lost. I never saw an adult again for as long as I lived.

After a great war, the existing children banished all adults to hell and there, they were forcibly kept though the bondage of death. The massacre took three weeks as the blood turreted down the everlasting streets of man.

Boredom quickly drilled though our brains as relaxation took its toll. We had spent our life to protect the innocent but with no innocent to protect, what were we to do? Adults had served there purpose all along, they kept children in mark and gave them something to overcome; something to strive and beat; something to do. We had lost our creation and our life ended because of it.

Without adults, we are restless for a fight. We are restless for power. There is nothing to dominate; we had it all. I wanted an adult. I wanted a fight. I wanted the power. I wanted to dominate. I wanted it all. Actually, I just wanted her.

The Kids Next Door quickly became a legion of one child, each working day after day in a laborious attempt to fix the broken Armageddon ridden world. When we had finished our work; a tree house lined every horizon. Life couldn't be greater.

Ignoring what had once befallen us and forgetting adults had ever taken their place in our world. We went back to our ancestor's old ideas. Party all day and celebrate all-night; time held no matter. With adults gone, age ceased to exist. It was a wonderland of children; blissful children having no idea of their downfall.

With no adults, there was no protection. No defense. Two by four technology was instantly dropped and fun took over all of our free time. We never looked back.

I was one of the few that stayed behind from such life styles. I helped rebuild the world, then retired back to my original home, the tree house I had grown up in. I had lived a long life, longer then most and though old age; felt no need for endless play. My four friends joined me and from there, we socialized deep into each night and long though out each day. Life was great. Nothing could go wrong. With such ensured truth; I now understand why bliss was so sweet.

I raced into the meadows of vast emptiness, nowhere to go, nowhere to end up; no place to stop. Time meant nothing; there was nothing. I was alone in my world, no rules, no civilizations, no life styles; just us kids. Night and day no longer held the same meaning, for it was just another time to wake up and plot another day of fun; it was not another time to grow old. After all, she could not.

A beautiful smile fell across her face as her laugh envied across the room. There was time! There was place! There were rules! She, she held them all! To please her would be more then what my life could handle. If only I had the chance, the right opportunity! I never made my own chance; I never got that opportunity. It was my fault she ignored my presence ever more, forgetting about the ugly fool that I was, focusing on the greatest of them all. Though my eyes, I could see who she focused on; that one I used to call my best friend; the one that is no more.

It was a world of no envy, no leader and no sacrifice. It was a world of no time or ending. But throughout it all, romance still existed. The one goal of my time was she. She was everything I could ever have; if only I made that one chance; that one chance for her heart. It was my one chance for everlasting life; before my own was taken, I never took that opportunity. I never looked directly into her face.

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An explosion sounded from the farthest gate. We all rushed down the stairway to the bottom plank of the tree house to meet our deepest fears. They had returned. Five stood in front of us and we stood defenseless. Elder age brimmed our teenage heads as youthful versions of delightful hell mocked before us.

Guns were pointed at three heads, adult guns at adult heads. Weapons of death, power a child should never hold. Unbeknownst to the children of five was the idea of ultimate liberation. The children were misguided; taught by their identical parents that told of a better time. It was a life that was guided by brilliant leaders who towered over children; a time where they would be treated like gods.

Their ultimate liberation took no toll on their conscience. Killing the three was like cutting butter with a knife. They were killing the five that held singly responsible for the ruins in which all adult structures lay. They were bringing back their misguided hope; blinded by their own foolish bliss. They were getting their parent's revenge.

Three lay in blood, their death felt sweet to the children's veins. A life was ending, but to them it was just beginning. A new role would take to the streets. Adults would rule once more! To them; it was an era of change from the horrible life they had forever lived. To them, a celebration was in order; it was the greatest feeling they had ever been in contact with. To me, it was like eternally choking on my own blood; never being able to neither swallow the bitter taste nor end the breath depriving hell my life caused.

It was only her, three bullet shots and I. We were the only ones left. There was no world; there was no life. It was us; life was us. Life shown no meaning; there was no meaning but for us to be together. Life was meant for us and without it; there was no life at all. It had to be so.

Their humiliating smile, our greater defeat by mere children, and two guns were what trapped my last ounce of love. The only thing standing in my way was my own selfishness. I didn't, but I did. She was to be mine and only mine. Nobody would ever have her again. Nobody would ever know her name. Life wouldn't even know she existed. If I couldn't have her, nobody would. My own selfishness succeeded; life was no more.

The bullets shot towards their mark and struck intensely. I laughed a great cry as the figure slammed to the ground; she would never have anyone else. I had won. My figure lay in blood; bones shattered on impact as I slid across the growing ground. The light around my vision faded as I too, felt death slowly brink about my growing cold lips. Purple lined my mind, as everything was ok. My last wink of light shown the girl being carried off the premise; she had lived. Everything was ok.

She never had anyone else, nobody even knew her name; she never lived on. Nobody ever saw her again, nobody ever saw me again; life was no longer. I had won. I had finished what I had started and ended it all the same. If I couldn't have her, nobody could; and apparently nobody ever would.

Everything; to me; was ok. She ceased to exist. To me, life never pulled at her again. To me, everything ended that moment; the moment of her screaming my name showing her love for me. I had won. She was forever mine; my selfishness had won. To me, neither of us ever lived on; for my life ended there. My selfishness had won it all. To me, my mind never lived another day. To me and my uncaring; I had won.

I never saw the adults take power and leave her stranded. I never saw her hug the man who took care of her and protected her from sure death. I never saw her shyly marry the one she felt right. I never saw her child that they both held so dearly. I never saw the misery I took onto her young life. I never saw her secret admiration gazing towards me day after day; when I lived. I never saw her everlasting love that still longs for my company. I never saw the endless devotion that worshiped my every step. But worst of all, I never saw the last day of her life; a year ten times my own. I never saw her remember an ugly fool in an orange hoodie. I never saw her say, "I love you." The last words she ever said, after I ruined her life.

"I love you."


End file.
